To Live
by wazlib88
Summary: "I never really expected to survive. It's not like that made the walk through the forest any easier, mind, but I just…I never thought I'd be here for the aftermath." Harry has an argument with Ginny, and Hermione offers some insight. Harry and Hermione friendship fic with lots of Ron/Hermione and Harry/Ginny thrown in for good measure.


A/N: Hello. I wrote a thing. This started as a Harry & Hermione friendship plot bunny and quickly developed to include outright Romione and Hinny moments because reasons. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Will never stop being annoyed by that interview and the media fallout so...

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"Harry?"

He glanced up from the spot on the rug he'd been examining; Hermione was hovering in the doorway uncertainly. He moved to one side of the sofa and lifted the corner of his mouth in an attempt at a smile.

"What, Christmas at the Burrow a bit much for you?" he teased as she joined him, seating herself delicately on the other side of the sofa. As if on cue, a loud crash sounded from the kitchen, followed by Ron's voice shouting assurances to a seemingly fretful Molly.

"It's a bit much," Hermione admitted, "but that's not why I'm in here and you know it."

Harry was silent, but Hermione, true to form, was not deterred.

"Ron's noticed too," she said pointedly, "that you're not yourself."

"So is that how you operate now?" Harry asked wryly. "You send one representative in to present a united front?"

"No," Hermione replied, her lips twitching as if trying to suppress a grin. "Ron just doesn't like to talk about these sorts of things, does he?"

"A force of nature, the two of you are," Harry remarked, shaking his head affectionately.

"Will you just tell me what's wrong?" Hermione asked. "It's Christmas, Harry."

"I just needed a minute," Harry replied vaguely. He didn't need to look at Hermione to know she wasn't buying it.

"You and I both know I'm a bit smarter than that," Hermione said coolly. "Look, I _know _you and Ron don't talk about this sort of thing, but when you won't talk to Ginny…"

"Then you barge in?" Harry guessed.

Hermione frowned. "You know, three years ago I may have considered that an insult."

"Yeah, well, three years ago it might have been one," Harry acknowledged.

"Are you going to talk to me or not?" When Harry stayed silent once again, she continued. "You know, it's only a matter of time before Ron comes after us, and then it'll just be moments before Mrs. Weasley comes after him, and Mr. Weasley will be sure to follow, and before you know it, everyone will be in here staring at you and you'll have ruined Christmas-"

"Hermione," Harry snapped, but when he turned to face her she simply raised an eyebrow. "Do you do this to Ron?" he asked wearily, slumping back against the sofa.

Hermione shrugged. "I might, if he was acting like a belligerent arse."

"But-"

"And I find it hard to believe that your mood is unrelated to how upset Ginny was when she came back to our room last night, so-"

"She was upset?" Harry slumped even further and rubbed his forehead furiously, groaning. "Bloody, buggering…"

"Your scar doesn't hurt, does it?" Hermione cut in sharply, a hint of worry behind her stony demeanor.

"What? No, old habit," Harry assured her. "Was she really upset?"

"It was obvious," Hermione said. "Now, she didn't say anything, mind, but that was probably because Ron was there and we were…"

Harry snorted involuntarily. "She walked in on you, did she?"

"We were just saying good night," Hermione insisted, straightening her already perfect posture. "We'd just got back from a perfectly respectable evening with my parents, I'll have you know."

"Whatever," Harry laughed. "But Ginny seemed…?"

"What happened, Harry?" Hermione pressed. She looked as though she was about ten seconds away from either summoning a bottle of Veritaserum or hexing him.

"Fine," Harry relented, throwing his hands up in a vague gesture of innocence. "We had an argument."

"About?"

Harry sighed heavily. "Well, it started when I went to Godric's Hollow…"

Hermione's expression softened immediately. "Oh, Harry, I'd have gone with you, you know, and Ron too-"

"I know," Harry interrupted, "but you two were busy. I wanted to go alone, anyway."

"Really?" Hermione asked skeptically.

"Really," Harry confirmed. "Not that it wasn't nice having you there the first time, but I dunno…they're _my _parents, you know?"

"Okay," Hermione said quietly. "So what happened?"

"I didn't tell Ginny where I'd gone," Harry replied, tugging at the sleeve of the new scarlet jumper Mrs. Weasley had knitted for him.

"And why not?" Hermione prompted.

"Why do you think?" Harry asked, sighing. He couldn't quite summon up the will to be properly angry anymore. "Anyway, it turned into this big thing about me trying to leave her behind or minimizing her feelings or something, when all I said was that she wasn't _there,_ so she doesn't know what it was like-"

"Neither do you," Hermione interrupted. "You weren't the only one who had a rough year, Harry."

"Yeah, so I've heard," Harry muttered.

"Well then, that's why she's angry," Hermione said loftily, crossing her arms as though to rest her case.

"What are you talking about?"

"If that's the attitude you took with her, it's a wonder all your body parts are still in the right places."

"I didn't take any _attitude,_" Harry insisted. "Look, I know Hogwarts last year was hell and a half. But it's just-"

"Just what?" Hermione challenged, her mouth straightening into a dangerously thin line as he struggled to find the right words.

"It's easier with you and Ron, you know?" Harry said eventually. "I don't have to explain myself, or talk about it-"

"Well, wouldn't just be easier if you were in love with me or Ron, then?" Hermione said, rolling her eyes.

"No offense, Hermione, but I'd choose Ron in a heartbeat," Harry deadpanned.

"None taken," she replied. "I'd choose him over anybody. That's not the point."

"I know," Harry admitted, finally straightening his spine only to lean forward and rest his elbows on his knees instead. "And I know all she wants to do is talk about it, but…"

"That's easier said than _actually_ said?" Hermione guessed.

"See?" Harry said desperately. "It's not that I want to shut her out, I just want to move on."

Hermione looked at him for a long time, and Harry was just about to shift uncomfortably for the third time in two minutes when she spoke again. "What do you think Ron and I do when we're together?"

"I don't particularly want to think about it, thanks," Harry mumbled.

"Not that," Hermione dismissed. "When we aren't kissing, how do you think we spend our time?"

"Is this going somewhere?" Harry asked pointedly.

"We _talk_, Harry," Hermione declared. "How else do you think we'd manage a functioning relationship? You've known us for ages; you saw how many mistakes we made as the result of miscommunication."

"So you're saying I should talk to Ginny about…everything," Harry sighed, wishing there was another option though he knew perfectly well that there couldn't be. It wasn't that he wanted to keep anything from her, but he wished she could just _know_. It was childish and he knew it, but then, wasn't he allowed to be a child from time to time? It was a privilege that had been taken away from him when he was eleven, if not before, and sometimes he wondered if he could have avoided part of this whole mess if he'd been allowed to age and mature with something resembling normalcy.

"I'm _saying _that you need to put aside some personal discomfort if you expect a relationship to work," Hermione said, bringing his thoughts back to the present. "Do you think Ron loves talking about last year? Do you think _I _particularly enjoy it?"

"No, but-"

"We do it anyway," Hermione finished. "We _have _to. The war…it didn't break us, Harry, but it still could. It left behind more than a few fractures, and if we don't try to mend them…"

"You have a way of making a person feel like a git, you know that?" Harry tried to smile at her, but her expression remained serious.

"Look, I understand. I do. Nobody but you or Ron knows what it was like in that tent, and nobody else but you knows what it was like when he…when he was gone. But if you don't try to understand each other, you won't be able to keep moving forward," Hermione finished, as though she was daring him to contradict her.

Harry looked down at his hands. "I've told her all the big stuff," he said. "The horcruxes and the forest and all that, I mean."

"But it's always the little things that make the difference, isn't it?" Hermione remarked wisely.

Harry thought back for a moment - to the despair he'd felt when Ron left, the tears he'd shed at his parents' graves, the heavy silence between him and Hermione during those winter months, Ron struggling against him and slamming his fists on the wall as Hermione's screams rang out above them, the green light from Riddle's curse filling his vision...

Hermione must have seen something in his expression, because she continued without waiting for a response. "Tell her the little things, Harry. You know she's too important for anything less."

"Yeah," Harry murmured. "Yeah, she is."

"Do you know how I first knew Ron had feelings for me?" Hermione asked simply.

"You had a pulse and were around him for five minutes of the last four years?" Harry guessed, raising an eyebrow in bemusement at her change of subject.

"It was at Bill and Fleur's wedding," Hermione said, grinning as she reminisced. "He was looking at me the same way you were looking at Ginny."

"Really?"

"Well, not _exactly _the same way," Hermione allowed. "His terribly-in-love face is much more attractive than yours, I'm afraid, but the feeling behind it's the same."

"Cheers," Harry laughed. "Y'know, if you were half as clever as the rest of the world seems to think you are, you could have saved us all a load of trouble and figured it out back at the Yule Ball."

"What good would it have done?" Hermione pointed out, adopting the tone she normally saved for explaining what she deemed "simple" Arithmancy to anybody that would listen. "Neither of us would have been ready for a relationship then. And besides, that's not why he left, if that's what you're getting at."

"I'm not saying-"

"He told me what happened with the locket," Hermione said calmly. "It wasn't the idea of you and me that pushed him over, you know; it was the idea that we didn't need him at all. Which, as I've told him, is ridiculous on both counts, but it's how he felt and I understand that now. And then, of course, he didn't _actually_ leave the tent until you told him to."

"I know," Harry said darkly. It was a thought he'd had many times during the weeks Ron had been gone; that even if he had been the one to make the final move, hadn't Harry been the one to push him to it?

"It's not your fault, of course," Hermione continued. "And it's not like Ron tried to blame you, either. But you see, Harry? Almost nothing about last year was the way it should have been. My point is that he and I have talked about it, and if we hadn't, we'd never have been able to move past it."

They sat there another few minutes before Harry spoke again, tentatively. "I never really expected to survive. It's not like that made the walk through the forest any easier, mind, but I just…I never thought I'd be here for the aftermath."

"That's something else you need to tell Ginny," Hermione said kindly. "I don't think she particularly appreciates the fact that you tried to give yourself up. Neither do Ron and I, of course, and we'd have never let you go through with it had we known, but we understand why you did it."

"So does Ginny," Harry said defensively. "I told her about the horcruxes, and I don't know what else-"

"Living can be harder than dying, Harry," Hermione interrupted. "We can't just expect things to go back to the way they were after the year we had. We're different people now."

"I know you're right," Harry acknowledged, "but it's not easy. I don't know how to do this…this rebuilding thing."

"All she needs you to do is try," Hermione said, reaching over and squeezing one of his hands briefly.

As if on cue, Ron burst into the sitting room just moments later, grinning widely as he saw Harry's significantly relaxed expression. The bright orange of his Christmas jumper (Mrs. Weasley had at last deviated from maroon) clashed horrendously with the Santa Clause hat he wore upon his head, a gag gift from George as thanks for his help in reestablishing the joke shop. "Oi, there you are! It's time for dinner."

"How is it you managed to avoid the entirety of this year's heartfelt conversation?" Harry asked, grinning as Hermione let go of his hand and stood, crossing the room to kiss Ron on the cheek.

"May have been listening at the door for the last minute or so," Ron admitted, wrapping an arm around Hermione as his cheeks flushed. "Didn't want to join in the middle and throw off Hermione's game, did I? She's right, though. If you're going to date my sister, you're going to do it properly, yeah?"

Harry stood, forcing himself to meet Ron's eyes as he spoke. "I'm not trying to mess her about, you know that? It's just-"

"Not that easy, is it?" Ron smirked. "No shit, mate. You're forgetting that I'm in love with the woman who's just spent the last quarter of an hour trying to wrench your feelings out of you."

"And she did the job, didn't she?" Hermione pointed out.

"Yes, love, you're right as ever," Ron said, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "Now stop trying to ruin Christmas, will you Harry?"

"I swear the two of you are morphing into one," Harry complained as he crossed the room to join them. "It's downright terrifying."

"What would you even call us, if we were just one person?" Ron asked, wrinkling his nose. "Herm-on?"

"I'd prefer Ro-mione," Hermione replied, leaning her head against his shoulder. "Or you could just call us Ron-and-Hermione when we were being particularly crass."

"Or Hermione-and-Ron if we had a stick up our collective arse. OI, I was only joking!" Ron grumbled when Hermione poked him sharply in the stomach.

"That was _rude_, Ronald Weasley!" she scolded. "If you honestly think that's an acceptable-"

"I'm sorry," he interrupted. "I am. You're amazing and clever and legitimately the best person I know, and if you ever _did_ have a stick up your arse I'd be honored to be the one to pull it out."

"Well, thank you, Ron. I forgive you," Hermione said without reluctance, kissing him on the mouth as Harry grimaced.

"You're welcome, love," Ron said, grinning triumphantly as Hermione wrapped both her arms around his torso.

"See, Harry?" Hermione said smugly. "Communication is the key to love."

Harry groaned. "If the two of you actually _planned_ that bit-"

"We're quite brilliant, aren't we?" Ron interrupted. "Granted, it was sort of an on-the-spot sort of thing."

"Opportunities present themselves, you see," Hermione agreed happily. "And I would have apologized for calling you crass, Ron, but after the stick bit-"

"Understandable," Ron said sagely. "So Harry, can you promise to snap out of it so we can eat?"

Harry rolled his eyes, but patted Hermione's shoulder and socked Ron on the arm affectionately before pushing the door to the kitchen open. "Your kids are going to be menaces, you know that?" he said, and he left them both sputtering in his wake.

He found Ginny arranging the place settings at the table while the rest of the family helped Molly finish preparing the food. She didn't look up when he entered, but she didn't seem alarmed in the slightest when he placed a tentative hand on the small of her back. "Hi," he murmured.

"Hi," she replied tersely, placing the last fork on the table with a little more force than was necessary. Eyeing her family warily as they bustled around the kitchen, she pushed him toward the corner of the room so they could have something resembling privacy. "Look, if you've come to tell me to 'let it go' _again_-"

"I haven't," he assured her. "Can we - can we chat after dinner? Or whenever we can get a moment, anyway."

Ginny's muscles relaxed, but her expression was still fierce as she fixed her gaze on his. "What kind of a chat?" she challenged.

"A real one," he said, allowing himself to grin slightly when she reached for his hand.

"I don't want to force you," she said, "and I'm sorry if I came off abrasive, or whatever, I know it isn't easy-"

"But some things need to be said, yeah?" Harry finished. "And there's some stuff we both need to hear."

"Trust Hermione to talk some sense into you," Ginny snorted.

"That's not really it," Harry said. "I mean, it helped, and being right _does_ seem to be what she lives for sometimes, but..."

"What else, then?" Ginny asked, a smile tugging at her lips.

"It's you, isn't it?" Harry replied earnestly, squeezing her hand. "I can't let myself get in the way of us, and I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, too," Ginny said, letting go of his hand and embracing him instead. "We'll talk tonight, yeah?"

"Yeah," Harry agreed, leaning his head against hers.

"Y'know something funny?" Ginny murmured. "After Hermione left, Ron spent a solid ten minutes giving me 'relationship advice.'"

"Did he?" Harry chuckled.

"Yeah, and some of it was good, too; that's the worst part," she added, causing Harry to laugh heartily. "When did he and Hermione become…well, him and Hermione?"

"I think they've always been," Harry said thoughtfully. "I dunno where they get off thinking they're experts now, but you've got to admit they've got a good thing going."

"Weird, isn't it, how much things can change while staying the same?" Ginny replied, loosening her embrace so that she could kiss him chastely.

"Well, we've had pretty weird lives," Harry said fairly. "Only fitting that it spills over to the normal parts, too."

"We'll get there," Ginny assured him. "Someday, we'll be so normal you'll get bored."

"Doubt I could ever get bored of you, Weasley," Harry replied, grinning cheekily, "but I dare you to try."

Ginny smiled back, her face lighting up in a way he hadn't seen for days. "You're on, Potter."

There was an empty chair left between Percy and George that evening, a stark reminder that everything _had_ changed. But Ginny's hand was still in his underneath the table. Ron and Hermione were still making eyes at each other. The Weasleys were still gathered on Christmas day, wearing their jumpers and enjoying each others' company. They could still live. It wouldn't be easy, and it would take an entirely new kind of courage, but as Harry looked around the table at the Burrow that chilly Christmas evening, he was sure that these people were absolutely worth trying for.

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A/N: Wouldn't be a wazlib88 fic without a paragraph about how they love each other and they are always moving on from the war and etc, etc, etc. Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it. :)


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